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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25686427">Are We There Yet?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bandersnap/pseuds/Bandersnap'>Bandersnap</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Big Brother Harley Keener, Harley Keener Being An Asshole, Harley Keener is Tony Stark's Biological Child, Omorashi, Peter Parker is Tony Stark's Biological Child, Peter Parker needs to Pee, Road Trips, Wetting</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 06:33:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,192</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25686427</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bandersnap/pseuds/Bandersnap</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony, Harley, and Peter are driving to their vacation home in the mountains. The boys are not getting along and Peter definitely shouldn't have had so much water at their last stop.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harley Keener &amp; Peter Parker, Harley Keener &amp; Tony Stark, Peter Parker &amp; Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>95</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Are We There Yet?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was the middle of summer and Tony, Harley, and Peter were on the longest road trip they hay ever taken. Their destination: Tony’s house in the mountains for a relaxing vacation as a family. The house was miles up a private road and overlooked a massive waterfall that the kids swam in sometimes. Peter refused to get on planes after the vulture incident. There was no amount of bribing that could get him on a flying death trap, so they were forced to drive all the way from New York to Virginia in a cramped car for five hours. </p>
<p>Everything was going fine at first. They left in the middle of the night so Harley and Peter were able to sleep through majority of the trip. Tony couldn’t play his music because that would wake up his kids, but the soft snores were actually pretty therapeutic. Tony was a sucker for his sleeping kids. It reminded him of when they were little and adorable. Their teen years just didn’t compare to their time as sweet toddler.</p>
<p>Eventually Tony was forced to wake his boys, even though they looked so peaceful, to stop for food. It was a pretty uneventful stop, but things started to go south from there. Peter was wide-awake after eating; meaning everyone in the car was subject to his endless story. There was no plot, just events that happened around each other. It also didn’t include commas or periods. How he could just keep talking without taking a breath was a mystery.  </p>
<p>Harley could only take so much of the incessant rambling before he finally cut Peter off. “The end.”</p>
<p>“But I’m not done,” said Peter, totally missing the point. </p>
<p>“Oh I think you are.”</p>
<p>“You always cut me off like you don’t care what I have to say.” Peter said innocently.</p>
<p>“Spot on, shortstop.”</p>
<p>“You don’t have to be an ass all the time.”</p>
<p>“And you don’t have to talk all the damn time, but you do that anyways. It’s the attention whore tendencies for me.”</p>
<p>“It’s the emotional constipation for me.”</p>
<p>“At least I don’t cry every time someone doesn’t like me.” </p>
<p>“At least I’m not talking to 10 guys on tinder at once.”</p>
<p>“Whoa, I know the kid who was simping for a girl who friend zoned him multiple times didn’t just comment on my sex life.” Harley said, causing Peter to slap his him so hard it left a red handprint on his neck. Harley almost teared up from the sting, but he didn't like letting Peter see him cry or showing weakness I general. </p>
<p>The sound of Peter’s hand striking Harley’s neck was enough to get Tony pissed. The arguing was funny at first. His boys had good comebacks, but they took it a little too far. Part of parenting a mutant was setting strict boundaries for when violence is okay. “Peter, what the fuck? We talked about this. Hand over your phones.” </p>
<p>“Phones?” Harley shouted. “Why is that plural? I didn’t do anything. Peter slapped me!”</p>
<p>“You instigated. Now hand it over. You can have it back when we get to the house.” Tony used his dad voice to get his oldest to cooperate. It was one of the only things that could scare Harley and his tuff guy act into being compliant.</p>
<p>Peter slumped against the window and got lost in his thoughts. There was nothing else that he could do. Reading would make him car sick and his phone was now out of the question. What did he do on long car trips before he had a phone? Talk to Harley? That wasn’t an option either. Harley was currently on Peter’s bad side. Hopefully they didn’t have to be trapped in the car much longer. He had to go to the bathroom, but he didn’t feel like saying anything. They were ascending up a mountain so they had to be close. “Are we there yet?” Peter asked. </p>
<p>“No.” Tony answered, knowing where this was going</p>
<p>“How about now?” Peter asked again.</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“Now?”</p>
<p>“Peter, if you don’t shut up I am going to reach back there and strangle you.” Harley said like they hadn’t just gotten in trouble for hitting. Tony shot him a warning look, but he didn’t care because he was going stir crazy. His lack of interest in the whole trip wasn’t helping either. He would much rather be at their beach house in Malibu, making his skin tanner and his hair blonder, but that was apparently too long of a drive.</p>
<p>It was pretty quite for a while after that until Peter broke the silence. “I have to pee.” he said out of nowhere.</p>
<p>“Really Bambino? We just stopped like an hour and a half ago.” Tony asked. </p>
<p>“Yes, really. You know I have a fast metabolism.”</p>
<p>“I’m pretty sure you would be fine if you hadn’t guzzled three cups of water at that restaurant.” Peter stretched his leg out to kick the back of Harley’s seat for the unwanted comment. It was subtle enough that Tony didn’t notice and go off on them again. Harley let out a soft grunt in response, even though it didn’t actually hurt.</p>
<p>“We’re really close to the house. Do you think you can hold it for maybe 15 more minutes until we get there?”</p>
<p>“I’ll try, but I’ve had to pee for a while now and it’s kind of an emergency.” Tony was a little annoyed that Peter had basically admitted to waiting until the last minute. If he had said anything ten minutes ago they could’ve stopped at the last hillbilly gas station. Now they were way up the mountain and by the time they got to a safe place to turn around, they would be closer to the house than the gas station. Going in the woods was the only other option, but Peter would never agree to that.   </p>
<p>Harley could not stand Peter complaining about how bad he had to pee every few seconds. If he just had his phone he could tune out Peter’s whining. Instead he was left to stare out the window and watch the trees go by to the sound of Peter’s irritatingly high voice. Now he was in the mood to mess with Peter and had the perfect way to agitate him. “Peter, I hope you’re not thinking about waterfalls,” Harley taunted to get a reaction out of his brother who was now crossing his legs.  “or running rivers.” He continued, watching Peter’s face scrunch up. “Tons and tons of water just running down the rivers.”</p>
<p>Peter reached his leg out to kick Harley’s seat again to get him to stop. Peter was sure he would explode if he had to hear anymore talk of flowing liquids of any sort.</p>
<p>“I swear to god Harley if you make him pee in this car I will make you clean it up.” Tony warned, but it was safe to assume that was an empty threat. There was no way he would ever let anyone who wasn’t a professional handle his car. He was just running out of ways to get his kids to shut up since he already took both their phones.</p>
<p>Peter started to shift in his seat. No matter how he sat, he couldn’t get comfortable. “Dad I really, really, really need to go.”</p>
<p>Tony rolled his eyes. “I know. We establish that many times. You don’t need to keep telling me.”</p>
<p>Peter looked down and fiddled with his scrunchie. “Yeah, but I don’t think I can hold it much longer.”</p>
<p>“You’re fine. Just think about something else.”</p>
<p>“Like what? It’s all I can think about.” His bladder was pounding. </p>
<p>“Count the trees.” That was the cure for motion sickness. Maybe it also worked to distract kids who were on the verge of wetting their seat.</p>
<p>Peter looked out his window and began obnoxiously counting out loud. “One…Two… Three–nope I can’t do this. It involves me looking at that stream over there, which makes me have to go more.” Harley didn’t even try to contain his laughter. “It’s not freaking funny.” Peter shouted at him. </p>
<p> “Harley, be nice. What if it were you?” said Tony.</p>
<p>“This never happens to me. Peter on the other hand gets into this situation every week.” Harley retorted.</p>
<p>The car passed a ‘rough road ahead’ sign and Peter dreaded what was coming. “Can you drive more smoothly? If you hit another bump I’m gonna lose it.”</p>
<p>“This isn’t exactly a paved road. What do you want me to do?” Tony’s patience was running thin.</p>
<p>“I don’t know! Are we there yet?”</p>
<p>“Yes!” Tony exclaimed while abruptly parking the car.</p>
<p>As soon as they were stopped, Peter stumbled out of the car and ran up to the door of the house. He then started violently jiggling the knob of the locked door. He was so tempted to bust the door down with his super strength “It’s locked!” </p>
<p>“I have the keys.” Harley said while walking towards the door.</p>
<p>Peter watched the blonde leisurely make his way over like there was no emergency. “Hurry up and unlock it.” He demanded. </p>
<p>Harley looked Peter dead in the eyes and dropped the keys on the ground out of spite. “Oops.”</p>
<p>“I’m going to murder you.” Peter screamed, but Harley couldn’t take him seriously when he was doing the potty dance. </p>
<p>Tony heard the whole interaction from behind the car. “Harley, unlock the damn door!” He yelled.</p>
<p>“Okay jeez.” Harley shoved the key into the lock. He tried twisting it a few times, but it wouldn’t budge. “It’s stuck! I’m gonna try the other set.”</p>
<p>Peter was still frantically potty dancing when he felt urine start to trickle down his legs. “Hurry up! I-I’m peeing.”</p>
<p>Harley paused to process what his brother just said. “What?” He took a quick glance at Peter and noticed the wet spot spreading on his pants. Oh. Harley immediately began fumbling with the keys. Neither of the sets were turning and it was somehow making Harley panic as well. Pulling the door while unlocking it finally got the door open. </p>
<p>Peter rushed through the door and made a beeline for the nearest bathroom, leaving a small puddle where he was standing by the door. Harley couldn’t help but feel greatly responsible for that. He definitely shouldn’t have intentionally dropped the keys, or teased Peter about waterfalls while they were still in the car. Now he felt like a dick.</p>
<p>By the time Peter got to the bathroom, he didn’t have to pee anymore. He couldn’t even enjoy the relief because his shorts were sticking to his legs and his shoes were soaked as well. He didn’t have any clothes to change into and he really didn’t want to leave the bathroom, meaning he couldn’t shower yet. The only thing he felt like he could do was cover his face and cry into his hands until he heard Harley knocked on the door. </p>
<p>“Peter?” No response, just quiet sniffles coming from the other side of the wall. “I’m sorry I messed with you in the car and took a while to open the door on purpose. I was just bored and a little frustrated and I know that doesn’t justify what I did, but uhh, if it makes you feel any better, dad’s making me hose down the front porch where you… ya know. Anyways, I’m putting your bag outside the door.”</p>
<p>Peter waited until he heard Harley walk away to retrieve his bag from behind the door. He didn’t want Harley to see what he did. Though it happened more often than he would like to admit, it was still mortifying.  He took an extra long shower to ponder what had just happened. That was the most awkward apology he had ever received and that’s saying something. One time his teacher had to write a letter to him apologizing for wrongfully suspending him over drugs that he never possessed. Then said teacher had to read it in front of the whole class. This was somehow worse and it all could’ve been avoided if he hadn’t waited until the last minute.  </p>
<p>Peter’s hands were starting to wrinkle so he hopped out of the shower. After putting clean clothes on he was ready to forgive Harley and then forget everything about that day. Thinking about it more would most likely make him cry again and he already had a slight headache from all the sobbing he did. It was better to just forgive and forget. </p>
<p>Peter found Harley sitting on the deck by the fire pit. His first instinct was to go lay down on the couch next to him and place his head in his brother’s lap. </p>
<p>Harley was a little confused by Peter’s sudden change in attitude. He was fully expecting him to yell or throw some punches. “Are you mad at me?” He asked.</p>
<p>“Not anymore.” Peter said while grabbing Harley’s hand and directing it to his hair.</p>
<p>“Okay good because I felt bad about-“</p>
<p>“-Please don’t bring it up anymore. Let’s just go swim in the waterfall and pretend it never happened.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I don't have the patience to read over this again, so if you spot errors just pretend like you didn't see them. I'll fix it eventually. Also please comment because I really enjoy feedback.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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